Sketch from Sunday 1 March

All Going South

(Both with back turned to the audience, so nice and loud)

F: Finally! Freedom! We’re moving!

M: I know, it’s amazing! For the first time, I can move in whatever direction I like, not just up and down the same brick maker’s path all day every day.

F: And you know what else feels amazing?

M: What?

F: Having the weapon in my hand, instead of feeling one on my back.

M: Yes! And after all those amazing things God has done, it’s just a short march north to the land God promised us.

F: Yeah – and sure, there will be a fight, right?

M: But we’re gonna win… Right?

F: Course we will! Look, if God’s done all that with those plagues to get us out from Egypt, He’s not going to let the final hurdle stop us, is He?

M: No, course not.

F: Course not. Give it a few weeks, maybe by the end of the year, it’ll be swords down, job done, in the promised land.

(F gets handed a note)

M: What’s that?
F: No… this can’t be right… this doesn’t make sense…
M: What? What is it?
F: A note from the leaders – it says turn around… We’re all going south… (Turn around, face the audience)

M: South?!? But the land God promised us is North!!! We’re literally walking away from it!

F: I know, I know! But the leaders say that the pillar of cloud is taking us the other way.

M: Surely the plan was to all go north, that’s the end goal, right? Why is it all going south now?

F: And into a desert? There’s, like, nothing there! What’s the point in going there? All there’s going to be is hunger, thirst and confusion!

M: And what’s the point in being all geared up like this? There’s nobody to fight there. Nothing to claim, nothing to be gained. It’s just… fruitless.

F: I’m ready for the fight! Now it’s going to be ages before it comes,

M: So much for freedom meaning going wherever seems best.

F: Right? If this really is God leading us south, why? What possible reason could He have for leading us into this desert place together?

M: What is our God up to?

Sitting ducks

(Both with back turned to the audience, so nice and loud)

F: We’re moving again.

M: Again?!? Jeez, it seems like any time, day or night, we’re suddenly told to shift direction.

F: But that is where the pillar of cloud and fire has taken us.

M: Wait – you’re not getting used to all this shifting sand journeying are you?

F: Look, I know it’s been weird.
M: Yeah, that’s an understatement.
F: But do you know what’s really good? M: What?

F: We’re all still together. As one. The people of God, walking around a desert in confusion, but together. Trusting that there’s more to this than meets the eye.

(F gets handed another note)
M: What is it now?
F: We’re turning back.
(Both turn round to face audience) M: What? Again?!?

F: Yep. Moses writes that God has told us to turn back and camp at Pi Hahiroth, by the sea, opposite Baal Zephon.

M: Okay… I suppose a few days at the seaside might be good for us all. Take our minds off this crazy journey.

F: There’s more…

M: Okay, lay it on me. What’s the next twist in the tale?

F: Moses writes that God has told him that Pharaoh is coming after us.

M: WHAT?!? And He wants us to camp by the sea under that hill? That’s crazy! We’ll be sitting ducks! Why would God take us out of Egypt only to put us somewhere we’ll be certainly killed?

F: Wait – God also says, ‘I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the LORD.’

M: What does that mean? Is God going to save us again or not? It’s all very well that He’s going to gain glory, but is He going to come through for us?

(F starts marching on the spot boldly with drawn sword)

F: Bring it on.

M: What?

F: This is it, this is the fight we’ve been waiting for. It’s not where I expected it to be, but I guess this is the moment that God’s people go fight and He helps us to win.

M: Right… I guess… okay… (draw sword)… Bring it on!

(They stand with drawn swords, then look ahead, and faces and swords fall)

F: Look! There’s thousands of them!

M: That’s, like, every chariot in Egypt! Every horse, every weapon!

F: This is going to be a massacre!

M: We can’t win this! We’ve got to get out of here! For our own good, we need to run away from God’s people!

F: But where?!? There is no way out of here! We’re in this mess because God put us here, and there is no way out!

M: What is our God doing?

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